match . com fuckwad –

It is sometimes hard for me to believe how crazy the crazoids are…but folks, i ran into a crazoid this week.  Yesterday I was pretty freaked out, no, scared.  Like too scared to really even talk about it…under the covers with a gun all night scared….

I decided to join Match. com last week.  In 2 days I had 9 emails.  By Sunday, 19 emails or winks.  That sounds awesome, until you figure out that 75% of them are weirdos. Not just your average ordinary run-of-the mill weirdo, but card carrying, should be in a home weirdos.  But hey, it was entertaininng and I saw some tweets waiting to happen!  Game on!

But, one guy became really weird really quickly.  First, the bragging about his Mensa membership, IQ level, cost of his truck and fishing pole, etc. etc.  Then, his 9-12 paragraph long EMAILs through match. (not one, four) in one day— about his marriage, kids, work history…and the one thing we had in common – fishing.  If  a relationship could be built on all he had to tell me about fishing, i would have been married and pregnant already.

reluctantly, I decided to go out with him, date scheduled for monday night.  You know how they tell you to go on interviews even if you don’t want the job?  That’s what I thought about a date with this guy.  Practice….  plus, i mentioned my rod was broken and he mentioned he might have a nice 7 foot fishing  rod (score)

So, since I was puking violently in a corner all day I decided around 11 to let him know I coldn’t make it…. and rather than say postpone the date, I said cancel.  He asked if I wanted to change to another night, and I decided to be honest–I said no, that i didn’t think we had enough in common.  What I was thinking was, you haven’t asked me one thing about myself but have told me your entire life history…the only time he mentioned me in 9 or 10 emails was to ask me to wear a skirt on our date and to tell me what an amazing smile and eyes I have.  (yeah, duh )


so, homeboy says, “We have more in common than you know; my daughter’s name is K too”

WHOA!  BACK THE FUCK UP–WHAT?  (I don’t tell anyone my kids’ names)


He then tells me how he has looked me up online and how “stupid” I am, just like most woman about the internet.

Within the next few hours he told me my name, address, phone number, past phone number, my medical condition, my kids names FULL NAMES, K’s school name, a link to my house on google earth, an article in the Austin American Statesman about Kati from 2002 andother article about me from 2010, my employer, my job title, a link to my resume, and a medical report about meds I was on.  All that,, I looked up my name on google and he had to go about 20 pages back to find the Statesman article from 02.

His only “threat” was, “If I wanted to hurt you or your kids I could have done that already”

He wanted me to meet him and pay him to show me how he did it, but he kept going back to how much we had in common.  He listed it all for me.  Guess what, we both have a child born in Germany, we both have a daughter named K, we both like to fish….  yeah, we both have a MENTAL CONDITION, Motherfucker, but yours is NOT under control!!!

The latest email I received from him included an attachment from his ex wife pleading him to reconsidor leaving her.  He wants me to see how much of a catch he is and what I am missing out on.  He also mentioned how good he is at “love making”.   oh, , and did you see email?  I cancelled my match membership and he started actually emailing me to one of my personal email addresses.

Authorities and match have been called.  He deleted his account.  Baby Daddy is about to come unglued, pistol is loaded and I am trying my best to go through all my accounts that are out there and changing them or deleting them.  I will admit to some internet stupidity,, but this guy is an expert.  Come to find out, he is a skip tracer and does this for a living.  He thought it was funny to show me how smart he was and how dumb I am…

lesson learned!

Today I am thankful for the internet— otherwise I wouldn’t be able to blog this crazy shit!!!









About Jodi B

Proud 5th Generation Texan who loves good music, good people, good food and fun. Love to travel the state with my husband and kids. Texas is much more than a place, it is a character that embodies independence, friendliness, history and pride. View all posts by Jodi B

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